Ya gotta love the South

[Nickodell]

The South - You Gotta Love It


ALABAMA

A group of Alabama friends went deer hunting and paired off in twos for the day. That night, one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Henry?" the others asked.
"Henry had a stroke of some kind. He's a couple of miles back up the trail," the successful hunter replied..
"You left Henry laying out there and carried the deer back?" they inquired.
"A tough call," nodded the hunter. "But I figured no one is going to steal Henry!"

VIRGINIA

The owner of a golf course in Virginia was confused about paying an invoice, so he decided to ask his secretary, Carole, for some mathematical help. He called her into his office and said, "You graduated from the University and I need some help.. If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?"
Carole thought a moment, and then replied, "Everything but my earrings."

Louisiana


A senior at Louisiana was overheard saying ... "When the end of the world comes, I hope to be in Louisiana . "When asked why, he replied, "I'd rather be in Louisiana because everything happens in Louisiana 20 years later than in the rest of the civilized world."

Mississippi


The young man from Mississippi came running into the store and said to his buddy, "Bubba, somebody just stole your pickup truck from the parking lot!" Bubba replied, "Did you see who it was?"
The young man answered, "I couldn't tell, but I got the license number."

South Carolina

A man in South Carolina had a flat tire, pulled off on the side of the road, and proceeded to put a bouquet of flowers in front of the car and one behind it. Then he got back in the car to wait. A passerby studied the scene as he drove by and was so curious he turned around and went back. He asked the fellow what the problem was.
The man replied, "I have a flat tire."
The passerby asked, "But what's with the flowers?"
The man responded, "When you break down they tell you to put flares in the front and flares in the back. I never did understand it neither."

Tennessee

A Tennessee State trooper pulled over a pickup on I-65. The trooper asked, "Got any ID?" The driver replied, "Bout whut?"

Texas

The Sheriff pulled up next to the guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up into the ditch..

The Sheriff asked, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head."
"Yep", he replied. "That's why I dumpin it here, cause it says: 'Fine For Dumping Garbage'."


You can say what you want about the South,
But you never hear of anyone retiring and moving North.

 

[puff4]

Yep. Down south we got BOTH kinds of music... Country AND Western.

 

[wipeout]

YOU KNOW YOU'RE FROM "UP NORTH" WHEN...

• you only own three spices - salt, pepper and ketchup
• you design your Halloween costumes to fit over a snowsuit
• the mosquitoes have landing lights
• you have more miles on your snowblower than your car
• you have 10 favorite recipes for venison
• TrueValue Hardware on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas
• you live in a house that has no front steps, yet the door is one yard above the ground
• you've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard
• driving is better in the winter because the potholes get filled with snow
• you think everyone from the city has an accent
• you think sexy lingerie is tube socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons
• you owe more money on your snowmobile than your car
• the local paper covers national and international headlines on l/4 page, but requires 6 pages for sports
• at least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant
• the most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun
• your snowblower gets stuck on the roof
• you think the start of deer hunting season is a national holiday
• you head south to go to your cottage
• you frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck
• you know which leaves make good toilet paper
• the mayor greets you on the street by your first name
• there is only one shopping plaza in town
• the major parish fundraiser isn't bingo - its sausage making
• you find -20F a little chilly
• the trunk of your car doubles as a deep freezer
• you attended a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your snowmobile boots
• you can play road hockey on skates
• shoveling the driveway constitutes a great upper body workout
• you know the 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.
• the municipality buys a zamboni before a bus