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Jokes and funny stories

I wonder if the younger group knows what a fly swatter is. I have another thing that one of the boys wanted to use for hitting a tennis ball. I said NO. It electrocutes fbugs and bees when you smack them with it.
 
husky drvr said:
Figured one or two would've commented on post 24. Oh well.

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Obviously caused by contact with DHMO.

Saw a bit on Watter’s World where he interviewed college students on what they thought of DHMO and whether it should be banned or not. Some of these morons were even signing petitions for the ban.
 
husky drvr said:
Careful, I believe this is about a habit forming substance.

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I am having a problem with a kidney stone so my doctor told me to drink at least 4-6 large glasses a day of that stuff to help flush it through the system. What should I do??? ;)
 
canbeam said:
I am having a problem with a kidney stone so my doctor told me to drink at least 4-6 large glasses a day of that stuff to help flush it through the system. What should I do??? ;)
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canbeam,

I sure don't envy you to have to inhale such a powerful solvent in those large quantities. If it helps, I heard if you pinch your nose and close a different eye for each dose, then you can get past the smell and your eyes wont pop out. But you know how the internet is these days. ;)
 
This is the first year I didn't take a trip to Hawaii due to COVID-19.

All the other years were due to not having enough money
 
What do whales put on their peanut butter sandwiches? Jellyfish!


What did one cactus say to the other cactus? You look sharp!
 
I will never forget the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket.







"Watch how far I can kick this bucket"
 
My neighbor is an inconsiderate jerk.
The other day he knocked on my door at 2:30 in the morning.
2:30!
If I wasn't busy practicing bagpipes I would have said something to him.

Rick
 
The other day my neighbor went home and told his girlfriend he'd bought a condominium. She said "great now I can throw away my diagram".
 
This is the first year I didn't take a trip to Hawaii due to COVID-19.

All the other years were due to not having enough money.
 
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?




He'll stop at nothing to avoid them
 
50 million years ago dinosaurs ruled the earth.

One year a deadly corona virus came along.

All the toilet paper disappeared.

And the dinosaurs were wiped out.
 
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