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Dear Previous Owner...

Greggers

SAOCA Vice President
Platinum Level Sponsor
I thought it would be fun to start an ongoing post where we share stories of the absurd things that previous owners have done to our cars. I've already read a few things here on the forum over the years, but let's see what else is out there. So let's write the letters we wish we could send to the people who've made our automotive lives less than pleasant.

And to encourage participation, I'll send an official SAOCA 2016 calendar to the best story of a previous owner who should never be allowed near an Alpine again.

In the next post, I'll throw out the first volley.
 
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Greggers

SAOCA Vice President
Platinum Level Sponsor
DPO,

If you're using a five-way junction for brake lines and only four of them connect to something, RTV is not a good choice for plugging that fifth hole.

Best regards,

Greggers
 

alpine_64

Donation Time
On a series IV I've seen, wiring loom under dash burnt out, simply cut each end where it was still OK and splice new wires between unburnt portions directly around the chared remains of the melted loom!
 

Gary T

Gold Level Sponsor
Previous Owner

How about the previous owner of my Series II that obviously did not have any welding skills decided that a unibody car with holes in the floor could be easily repaired using marine plywood, long bolts, foam sealer and caulk would do the job okay. He did a pretty good job since it took me along time to remove the "wood worker" parts and replace with welded steel. I knew this when I purchased it, so he did not represent it as repaired. Also glued in all the carpet, which ended up in the trash.

Thanks
 

bashby

Donation Time
PO that to fit the C4 cut the out large pieces of the transmission tunnel, trimmed the floor and then "patched" the areas using roofing tin, roofing felt and tar.

PO that made a "roll bar" and installed it onto the back tray, realizing after he drilled the 6-3/8" mounting holes that he missed them proceeded to miss them 3-more times. Swiss cheesing the sheet metal under the "roll bar" mounts.

I could go on...
 

greenbeam

Platinum Level Sponsor
Dear Previous Owner,
If the soft top on your lovely S3 Alpine hardens and shrinks with age it is not OK to remove the A-pillar weatherstrips and the adjustment wedges under the windscreen so it will lean back further to reach the soft top.

It is even worse, when you find that your hardtop no longer fits correctly, to elongate the boot (trunk) hinge holes and move that back by 1/4".

I will say that you gave me many pleasant hours as a new owner trying to understand why the boot leaked so badly and was so hard to close, and why it was metal-metal contact between the windscreen surround and the door 1/4 windows.

With very few ill feelings,
Paul.
 

Cactusmasher

Donation Time
Dear Previous Owner

Funny.....I always thought DPO stands for Damned Previous Owner. I bought a 1964 GT that the DPO thought it would be fun to put a V8 into, so he did. He installed a GM Buick/Oldsmobile 215 aluminum V8 with 4 barrel carb and an automatic transmission. Hacked out most of the firewall and all of the transmission tunnel and installed the engine/trans. Covering the open gaps was a half dozen pieces of aluminum and sheet metal pieces (not even cut to fit and were overlapped) and holding the pieces together with sheet metal screws. More space was needed up front for a larger radiator so about 18 inches was sawed off the front panel under the front edge of the bonnet with another 18 inch section cut from the flat part of the grill area. "L" shaped metal strips were welded on the front of the cross member to support the new and larger radiator. Of course he had to have headers so large holes were cut into the inner fenders for the headers to pass through and drop behind the front wheels. I could go on and on, but you get the idea. No economical way to restore or repair this GT and it became a parts car and now resides in the great scrap yard for dead Sunbeams.
 

Green67Alpine

Former SAOCA Membership Director
Platinum Level Sponsor
These stories are really funny(sort of), good idea Greg.

On the 2 cars I've bought, we drove them home from Alabama to Atlanta. Guess I was really lucky, or forgot what the PO had done to them.

Tom j
 

Ragg Mopp

Donation Time
Dumb Previous Owner,
Did you ever wonder why the car wandered from side to side when going down the road and would suddenly take off in a direction you had not aimed for? Your use of undersized suspension bushings with silicone caulk filling in the gaps was the reason. You were lucky that you did not lose control and crash since the combination made it impossible for the steering to work correctly.
 

Series6

Past President
Gold Level Sponsor
As my Alpine's previous owner is a good friend, I will only discuss my first restoration project... 1954 BMW R68.

One of the several PO's had rewired it. No fuses. All one color wire. Black.

Nice idea Greg.
 

Greggers

SAOCA Vice President
Platinum Level Sponsor
DPO,

I checked the workshop manual, the owners manual and various other sources. The official torque spec for lug nuts is not "finger tight."

Wobbly yours,

Greggers
 
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