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Jokes and funny stories

65beam

Donation Time
I wonder if the younger group knows what a fly swatter is. I have another thing that one of the boys wanted to use for hitting a tennis ball. I said NO. It electrocutes fbugs and bees when you smack them with it.
 

MikeH

Diamond Level Sponsor
Figured one or two would've commented on post 24. Oh well.

Obviously caused by contact with DHMO.

Saw a bit on Watter’s World where he interviewed college students on what they thought of DHMO and whether it should be banned or not. Some of these morons were even signing petitions for the ban.
 

canbeam

Silver Level Sponsor
Careful, I believe this is about a habit forming substance.


I am having a problem with a kidney stone so my doctor told me to drink at least 4-6 large glasses a day of that stuff to help flush it through the system. What should I do??? ;)
 

husky drvr

Platinum Level Sponsor
I am having a problem with a kidney stone so my doctor told me to drink at least 4-6 large glasses a day of that stuff to help flush it through the system. What should I do??? ;)

canbeam,

I sure don't envy you to have to inhale such a powerful solvent in those large quantities. If it helps, I heard if you pinch your nose and close a different eye for each dose, then you can get past the smell and your eyes wont pop out. But you know how the internet is these days. ;)
 

husky drvr

Platinum Level Sponsor
This is the first year I didn't take a trip to Hawaii due to COVID-19.

All the other years were due to not having enough money
 

junkman

Gold Level Sponsor
What do whales put on their peanut butter sandwiches? Jellyfish!


What did one cactus say to the other cactus? You look sharp!
 

husky drvr

Platinum Level Sponsor
I will never forget the last words my grandpa said before he kicked the bucket.







"Watch how far I can kick this bucket"
 

Rick Young

Platinum Level Sponsor
My neighbor is an inconsiderate jerk.
The other day he knocked on my door at 2:30 in the morning.
2:30!
If I wasn't busy practicing bagpipes I would have said something to him.

Rick
 

Hillman

Gold Level Sponsor
The other day my neighbor went home and told his girlfriend he'd bought a condominium. She said "great now I can throw away my diagram".
 

Alpine 1789

SAOCA President
Diamond Level Sponsor
This is the first year I didn't take a trip to Hawaii due to COVID-19.

All the other years were due to not having enough money.
 

husky drvr

Platinum Level Sponsor
Did you hear about the mathematician who's afraid of negative numbers?




He'll stop at nothing to avoid them
 

husky drvr

Platinum Level Sponsor
50 million years ago dinosaurs ruled the earth.

One year a deadly corona virus came along.

All the toilet paper disappeared.

And the dinosaurs were wiped out.
 
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